Words Walking Around in the World

I feel so unmotivated lately. Not about weight loss, but about life.

This is the year I have given myself as a gift -- stepped down as President of the Sunday School class I'd led for two years (and taught most of those 104 weeks); opted not to teach a year-long Bible Study because of the way the church had them scheduled; have turned down requests for several public speaking opportunites; and generally cleared my decks of all but one non-work obligation.

I think when I decided to do this I envisioned a year of deep study of a couple of things that have interested me, and certainly I meant to get back to work on a nest of short stories I've been playing with for a couple of years.

But I'm just so distracted I can't seem to focus on doing either of those things with any real intention. A conversation at the bookstore last night during a booksigning with a friend who is a published author (two short story collections, one novel) unnerved me. He said, "Eleanor, I've read your drafts. You've got something there -- and I want to hold them in my hand when they are bound and turn the pages and find out who you are."

And that, my friends, is what terrifies me.